Ryan: Moral of the story? Gina’s a jerk.

Ryan goofy voice : I was a turkey ALL ALONG!

Vanessa: It’s better than balls.
Ryan: What’s wrong with balls?
Vanessa: Do you want balls flying at your face?
Sara: WFT???

Vanessa: Did you say check and poop?
Ryan: Check and try to poop!
Sara: Enjoy your poop attempt!

Sara: Are you a man or a woman, Andy?

Sara: You need to pick a gender and go with it. You’re confusing me.

Andy: It’s either a 5 dex or a 5 con. Which do you think I’ll live longest with?

TJ: If you had a 5 intelligence, our biggest concern would be trying to keep you from putting everything we find in your mouth.
Ryan: That’s 5 wisdom.

Andy: Beware, I think it’s dire poo!

Andy: Wait! Ryan- flatfooted means you are denied your dex bonus, right?
Ryan: Dex BONUS. Not penalty.
Andy: NOOOOOOO!

Ryan: I swear! Be prepared! …. If I have that stuck in my head all night, I will sneak attack you by a rogue at least 4 levels higher!

Vanessa: This Linza? She sounds really cool But I don’t think we should meet. We’d probably get into trouble.

Andy: The book of boccob?
TJ: I like pecans.

Ryan: It’s going to be ‘shout’.
Sara: I’m not going to be able to find it again.
TJ: It’s next to ‘twist’.

Ryan: I almost pooped myself.
TJ: That seems to happen to you a lot.

Sara: Thank you for that cryptic and unhelpful answer, once again, DM Ryan.

Andy abruptly: Y’all don’t want me to have the intelligence of a displacer beast or griffin!

Gina: We’re in Spellhold. We magically teleported.
Ryan: No, you narrated. Narraported.

Sara: Are you going to whip him in a public place?
Ryan: In a sexual manner?

Ryan: Sara has a tower.
Sara: I have a tower? WTH, I’m not sharing it with those bitches!
Ryan: Okay, you don’t have a tower.

Andy: There’s a headstrong wizard-
Ryan: Haha, personality determined for you!

Sara: I know so much about the Eye of the Dragon that he had to leave.

Ryan to Sara: I hate you… That has nothing to do with the game.

Sara: I’m intelligent and helpful to the party!
Andy: For the first time ever!

Vanessa: Andy, I’m going to shit on the back of your commode.

Vanessa: She has this footlong silky black beard.

Vanessa to TJ: Will you help me take my armor off?

Ryan: Andy, what’s your touch AC?
Andy laughs hard: ’We’re going to need a new Timmy!’